Eden328

Blog #3: Chapters 5-10. In Coherence II (Chapter six), I found the rule that a reader will feel that a paragraph is coherent if she/he finds the point sentence at the end of an issue, or at the end of a discussion.
In my writing, I tend to put the main point at the beggining of the sentence, regardless of if it is following an issue or discussion. I suppose that I was doing this because I wanted the reader to get the point, and then move to the issue. I found that this was a backwards method.
length in chapter eight was real helpful for me. I have a huge problem with writing long, drawn out paragraphs, which could have been more concise, and to the point.
I believe that my lengths came from the lack of coordination in my paragraph structure. A rule that was helpful to me was, to join equally grammatical segments with and, but, yet,and or anywhere in a sentence, but after the subject in the predicate. If the reader has to read, a long sentence with no segment breaks, they can lose the point of the paragraph.
Chapter nine (elegance), to me, was all about presentation. The rules that were discussed like: Avoid leaving prepositions at the end of a sentence to provide strength in the sentence. Adjectives and adverbs are more heavier than prepositions. For example; "When writing a paper, it is always good to re read, and look over your work." It sounds better when you write:"When writing a paper, it is better to re read, and edit your work."

Blog #2 Williams through chapter 5: I have found this book to be of real use. The first five chapters discuss many valid and arguable points to be addressed when writing. I was thankful for all of the examples that were given because I personally, am someone who learns from examples mainly.
In chapter one, a rule that stuck out explained that when writing in a particular field, those who try and imitate can lose control and create too many abstractions. I have found that when writing an essay, I am trying to impress the instructor, and I end up imitating someone else, and it combines with the real method that I write to, and it becomes jumbled.
In chapter two, the rule on page 18, to make sentences concise and clear was one that was very important to me. I have a problem getting my points across in one sentence without using a million words, and beating around the bush to get to the point. I was not personally aware of how the reader must personally sort out ideas while reading when a sentence is not clear,and it could ultimately confuse them. I try to put so many ideas in a sentence, or paragraph, that it becomes way to confusing, and the flow of the paper goes in a different path, losing the reader.
I found chapter three to be the most helpful to me. Previously, I stated that I had a problem keeping the flow information going in the right path. A rule that was helpful was to use the direct active voice, avoid the weak and indirect passive. For example " telemarketers are avoided by residential phone users everyday". Instead of using this, I would say that: Residential phone users avoid telemarketers everyday".
Chapter four showed that we put our most important information first in a paragraph to create emphasis. It is best to trim the end, and modify.
Finally in Chapter five,I highlighted a rule that stated that a coherent paragraph will usually have a single sentence that clearly articulates the point.
While my first essay was being revised by fellow classmates, they found a hard time finding one clear sentence that articulated the point. I had many points that were equally strong and it made it hard to pick which one was the main point.

Blog#1 Strunk and White: After reading Strunk & White, I found the book to be useful, if you already have an idea of what you are trying to write. The rules seemed to be very blunt, and had no depth or opinion. I feel that writing instruction books should provide other opinions, or options towards writing.
Writing is not like math where everything is cut and dry. I feel that everyone has their own writing style,and writing a book with at most times one options can limit the writer.
However, while reading the book, I did find a rule that was clear, and understandable to go by. One page 10, the rule to use a singular verb, With,from, after, each, either, everyone, everybody, neither, nobody and someone. This rule can completely change a sentence.
Other than that particular rule, I found the book to be easy to read, but hard to pick up and reference to. Williams book was much easier to understand and reference to. There was more use of options, and example as opposed to Strunk and White.

When comparing Strunk & White to Williams, I would say that it is much like when one is dealing with their parents, and the family rules. My parents give me set basic rules to live by, like in Strunk and White, but my mother often has to further explain why the rules are the way they are for the children to better understand.
I feel that most parents have the same sort of structure when raising children, but I feel that they have different versions and explanations for their rules. My father feels that the rules should just me made, and followed by, with no explanation like Strunk and White, but my mother feels that they should be explained. The children feel that in some instances, they need examples of what to and not do, because rules can change form situation to situation, much like writing changes from situation to situation.
If a rule is vague, it is hard to apply to the situations we experience as childrens, so a further explanation with examples, would help both the parents, and the children, so there is less confusion. Strunk And White's text sets the rules, and Williams provides examples, and explanations.

After reading the various rules in Writing Styles, I found that I am a horrible writer. Everything that was mentioned in the assigned chapters 4,5, and 6, critiqued what I did as a writer. The information, especially in chapter six, helped me with where to put my main point in the paragraph. In my first paper, many of the readers who revised it had a problem with finding my thesis because it was in the second paragraph, and I thought that was okay. The thesis had to be in the first, so it wouldn't mislead the reader. I also paid attention to the rules on repeating phrases. I usually use the same phrase over and over, and it becomes redundant. I can't think of other words to use, so I use the same ones. I have learned to put pronouns in place of them instead.

Original paragraph: Eastern Michigan University is open to students who have the potential to suceed academically as determined by a review of official high school records and or college records. Admission to the university is based on a combination of factors including but not limited to the review of high school or college grade point average, high school or college curriculum and scores on standardized tests.

Revised Paragraph: Eastern Michigan University is open to students who have the potential to succeed academically. This is determined by a review of the students official high school records, and or college records. Admission to this University is based on a comnination of factors, including a review of high school, or college grade point average, high school or college curriculum, and scores on standardized tests.

Response: I changed the first sentence because I though that the first statement should have been strong, and to the point. Eastern Michigan University is open to those that have the potential to succeed
academically, period. This sentence sets the reader up for the rest of the paragraph. The paragraph further explains what the student has to bring to the table upon admission academically. I then explained what potential the school is looking for in the second sentence, by providing what must be reviewd by the university in order to be admitted. I kept the third sentence pretty much the same, but I omitted the last part about the grade point average being review, but not limited to. By saying that there are a combination of things that the university looks for, and then follow it by saying it's not limited to, is saying the same thing twice, but in different wording. I just changed a couple of small things to make a strong opening point, and have the rest of the details support it.

Now, we have on line applications in the majority of the work force. On applications, there are questions that ask what clerical or computer skills the employee has. To compete in this world today, one must be computer literate. Even in the job I had as a cashier, we used computers for everything, and those that were not familiar with the computer had a harder time keeping thier jobs. Eventually, it will be mandatory in job requirements that employees have a certain skill level of computer knowledge to determine employment.

I believe that creativeness, and structure can go together as long as the paper makes since. In order to write an effective paper that everyone can have a general understanding on, there is still room for creativity. No one writes the exact same paper. There may be similar sentences, but everyone has thier own writing syle. The structure will be the same, but the style will differ.

It's more cumbersome to use the computer than handwriting because it blocks the flow of thought. WHen writing things out, It's easier to get what you feel out on paper, than looking for the keys among other things to record your thoughts.
As children, we are taught to memorize the alphabet, so it is cemented in our heads. I don't have to sit down and think momentarily about where the letters are in my head. The keyboard however, is not taught to us a young ages, and many people are not even familiar with them.
It simply takes loger to process information into the computer because we have to take the time to find things to get the message delivered.

Relection: I now realixe how important the simpler writing techniques are. We depend on computers so much that we forget simple things like spelling. We need to stay sharp with these things we let the computer do for us.

I think that it depends whether or not one should follow the standards of writing. It is helpful to have the standard rules on your side when writing a paper, but then there is a need to want to use creativity. I feel that after the basic training, you should be able to use creativity, and have the basic knowledge as a side tool.

Hello